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Some Things
  RiKD, Dec 10 2017

Days off are nice. Back to listening to music and writing stuff on LP.

Most importantly I want to say that Rick Roderick is on FIRE in this "Self under siege" series on youtube. We all should watch it.

Next I want to post what Spotify says was my most played songs in 2017. Hopefully, others also got this feature and it might be some fun.

2.) No - Nicolas Jaar
4.) HUMBLE. - Kendrick Lamar
5.) Time for Us - Nicolas Jaar
6.) 15 Step - Radiohead
8.) Odessa - Caribou
9.) Optimistic - Radiohead
10.) ELEMENT. - Kendrick Lamar
11.) Sun - Caribou
12.) Everything In Its Right Place - Radiohead
13.) Nights - Frank Ocean
14.) Bodysnatchers - Radiohead
15.) Midnight Marauders Tour Guide - A Tribe Called Quest
16.) Pink + White - Frank Ocean
17.) Migration - Bonobo
18.) The Tourist - Radiohead
19.) Song for Isabelle - Stimming
20.) You May Die (Intro) - Outkast - ATLiens

A lot of first songs on albums or I always played KAYTRANADAS album on loop starting at VIVID DREAMS. I was crazy on that for a while.

I would be interested to see others. Always, like finding new music. You know I never listened to Mumford and Sons before a week ago? Crazy.

Life is pretty good. I don't have anything I want to complain about. Just watch Self Under Siege and post Spotify top 20 2017! Enjoy the Holidays!

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Digestion of all things
  RiKD, Nov 27 2017

I have this weird thing where I think I can't do much of anything for an hour after eating food. No showers, no laying down in bed... That might be it really but I like to read lying down in bed.


So, since I can't do something great like read I do something to fill in the gaps like go to LP or pornography. I don't know what I am doing just sitting there enjoying the show. It all looks to be the same after a while. Until I got to Kendra Sunderland. I think I like really large breasts in pornography for the viewership but it doesn't really make much of a difference for me in real life (not true OBV!). I dated this woman who had virtually no breasts. She had great eyes and great conversation. That is a pretty great combination. I am staring at these beautiful eyes have meaningful conversation one can just get lost in it all. She didn't need breasts.

Anyways, I really should be asking myself if this is how I want to spend my day off?

Watching pornography and writing bullshit. I went and risked a handjob in the bathroom for ole Kendra Sunderland. When I was done it hit me... Oh shit, how will I get out? It was kind of a fun handjob. That may not be said for most. I think I am building up a pretty solid pornography addiction (again?). Nah, it's not really causing problems yet. It is just not really something I should be spending much time on. Probably, similar to this blog, my entire blog catalog, this website. Laugh out loud.

I was talking to my therapist today and she thinks I should just continue focusing on getting a social circle out here. See how that goes. See if I like it. Don't worry so much about getting a new job and moving out and getting an apartment. I feel pretty content right now. I am not ashamed of living with my parents. It is fun meeting new people and getting to know people better.

I started reading "Tree of Knowledge" by Maturana. We should all read it and get a discussion going so it will be more fun. Otherwise, I think Martin Amis "Money" is going to beat it out for reading preference. Loco says "Tree of Knowledge" can be a life changing book. I liked the first chapter. Maybe I will go read that.

I think this is a rough one. Today has been a day where I just threw on some sweatpants and I am sweatpantsin' the day away. They are not even cool sweatpants. Just some ok sweatpants without the laces for the waist band because they took them out when I was in the psych ward those bastards. It's nice to not be in there though. It's nice to have my meds down pretty well. I want another wank to my girl Kendra. I could get it on my phone. That is better than reading of course....

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Late Night Thoughts
  RiKD, Nov 21 2017

A lot of my life is negotiating with the word enough. What is enough? I have trouble with enough.

I just float around the meetings helping people if I can and meeting people if I can. Sometimes I can help someone and time keeps on slipping into the future. We go out for burgers on Monday nights and that is a good time. I met a vegan today. It was funny how the guys are all trying to be masculine and talk about meat eating. She brought up that she is making a vegan sweet potato casserole with sweet potatoes from her mother's garden and I thought that sounded INCREDIBLE. All the other guys were ripping on it and saying it sounds gross. I don't have a crush on her but she is a pretty cool chick. That is the thing though we have a good 2 hours and time keeps on slipping slipping slipping into the future. I watch some Bojack Horseman and become one and time keeps on slipping. Now, I get some words down and later maybe I read some "Money" by Martin Amis. All great ways to spend some time. Before I know it I will be back at the restaurant prepping food. Cutting 2 cases of mozzarella pays for about a third tank of gas. Making some meatballs pays for 2 weeks of Monday night dinners and fun. Cutting grape tomatoes pays for a week's worth of meeting donations. That is how I have to think about it. I really should be doing a better job of seeing what is out there. I am not better than what I am doing but there is better out there that I can be doing.

That really may be the best I get. Helping someone, dinner with friends, Bojack Horseman, "Money" by Martin Amis. I used to experience euphoria. It was so so fleeting. Maybe I get 20 speed and vodkas deep and catch the peak of a great joint and "Adagio for Strings" comes on at a massive Tiesto concert. Doing goood ecstasy for the first time at a bomb ass rave. Those are just some that come to mind. The high can last a while but then it's over. Life hangovers. At some point I am going to need a better job if... if... I need this because.... I need this or else.... What the fuck? What do we really need really?

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