RiKD, Jun 22 2018
Traveling on very little sleep is unpleasant. I had barely any room on the plane. All hunched over and drooling half a sleep like someone full of psych meds in the psych ward.
I slept 13 hours last night. I needed it but I think I am carrying a bit of grogginess from sleeping that many hours.
I am going to a welcome party tonight for one of my best friends from college and his future wife. I have never met her. I have never met a lot of the people going to the wedding. That causes some anxiety for me. It will be good to see my suite mates from university though. I am just kind of killing time before I can burn any physical energy I have in the gym.
I get to enjoy this weekend and then get my ass into gear on getting a job. It's about that time. I believe it was nice to step out for a bit and get a lot of reading in. I believe it pushed me forward as a human being. Not that I am going to stop reading altogether but it might be geared to more novels and I may have to hit the job networking trail in AA. Not that that every worked in the past. Meaningful work is something I may have never had ever and I don't know what the chances are of me finding it now. That is depressing. Sometimes there does not seem like hope for me in the future. I think I need to help people and be a political activist. I think that might be my only way out. I am not prolific enough in any form of art to transcend time enough of the time.
I just write these damn blogs. Sometimes I'm in it. Sometimes like today it is just sort of happening. I feel better though. I'm making a wager that I will have a good time tonight at dinner. Who really knows? I made a wager that I would have a good time on a family vacation and it was overall a splendid time. There is something about family and good friends that the gut just says it will work out. Even if we just talk about old stories that will be good enough for me. I think where I have issue is MY future. I can talk about the future. I love talking about the future but where I will fit into that future is where it gets troublesome. I don't want to be some guy working shitty jobs and living with his parents forever. All I can be is me and not care what other people think about me. I can always just be a recluse and read books. I have been there before and am not afraid to be there in the future.
RiKD, Jun 21 2018
I am sitting in an airport tired. Surrounded by all the disjointed conversations. I got very little sleep because I was up until the early morning sharing conversation with my sister, brother and brother-in-law.
I have never been that engulfed by childrens' energy before. They are at times delightful and at times equally or more so unpleasant. I don't know though. I was giving my one nephew a good bye hug and he said "I wuv you onkle Rishard." It's hard not to love that little guy. Given that they are already here we might as well make the best of it.
On Jamie Dimon:
My brother idolizes this guy. Jamie is his owner and master. I have gotten into it in the past over the 2008 fiasco and bitcoin but didn't really have the facts on the former. I was pretty pissed last night sitting there listening to him fawn over this fucking douchebag criminal but I didn't actually have any evidence to support my position and even if I did I am not sure I would want to unleash it. I am too tired to go searching for lucid sources right now but assuming I do should I unleash the evidence on my brother if he starts talking about what a genius CEO his company has?
Overall, it was a good trip. I don't get to spend quality time like that with my family basically ever anymore. I am looking forward to getting back home though. I really was missing some peace and quiet. I bet when I get the peace and quiet I will be missing some of the activity.
RiKD, Jun 17 2018
I suppose the prolificness of my blog writing has slowed down as of late. I have been traveling a lot and have not had much of a chance to post. It is a good thing.
I wanted to write about Father's Day. Bullshit is the first word that comes to mind. Celebrating natalism with more consumerism. Celebrating false immortality projects and God-complexes. "Exploit new markets or better exploit current ones" -Marx . Deuces.